Nobody saw it coming, except the Oracle and that one goblin who always says "I told you so." [A giant brass drilling machine bursts up through a goblin town's cobblestones as armored dwarves march out behind it](https://cdn.goblinlife.org/7...
After the disastrous debut of The Bus, goblin engineers are scrambling for a more efficient, less chaotic solution, and have turned to the human wizarding world for inspiration: the enchanted Knight Bus from the "Harry Potter" series. "We w...
A survey outside the Goblin Gaming Group's newest adult arcade, which until last week's ban was Ye Olde Kimono Pachinko Parlor, has revealed the state of goblin financial habits. [A bespectacled goblin finance correspondent waves a scroll r...
TITUSVILLE, Fla. — Reports are flooding in of a spiritual awakening among the bipedal, opposable-thumbed, culturally fluent dogs (BDCD). Researchers at the Goblin Research Institute (GRI) are scrambling to explain the sudden emergence of a ...
Nobody told the submarines about the ceasefire. U.S. submarines operating under strict radio silence have fired a barrage of torpedoes and rockets at a fleet of goblin merchant ships flying the Freedonian flag in the South China Sea. What f...
China has announced a military alliance with Freedonia. The world is bewildered, and experts are divided on whether Beijing is in on the joke or has lost touch with reality. "This is either the most brilliant geopolitical maneuver in histor...
The Goblin Deposit Insurance Corporation (GDIC), the institution that insures every goblin bank deposit, has declared bankruptcy. It had put 100% of its funds into PachinkoCoin, a new cryptocurrency pegged to the profits of the nation's pac...
Operation Dimwit has been called off. The United States has negotiated the release of its compromised agent in exchange for a shipping container full of a commodity that is scarce in North Korea and cheap everywhere else. Officials would no...
The Goblin Council of Elders has decided to "tax the living shit" out of gnome businesses and entrepreneurs. The decision, reached after a heated debate in the Council chambers, was inspired by a simple question: "What would Uncle Sam do?" ...
In a study that could revolutionize goblin mental health, researchers have found that feeding lotus plants to goblins suffering from lotus plant addiction cures anxiety and improves anger management. "We were initially skeptical," admitted ...
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