The Goblin Council of Elders has decided to "tax the living shit" out of gnome businesses and entrepreneurs.
The decision, reached after a heated debate in the Council chambers, was inspired by a simple question: "What would Uncle Sam do?"
"Uncle Sam wouldn't sit idly by while these gnomes rake in profits from our soil," said Elder Gnarltooth, his voice booming with newfound authority. "He'd tax them until their pointy hats spin!"
The new tax code, the Gnome Revenue Enhancement Act, includes a hefty import tax on all gnome goods, a "cultural appropriation fee" for gnome businesses in goblin territory and a "mushroom tax" on all psychedelic mushroom sales. Goblin-owned mushroom stalls are exempt, because the Council checked.
"We're not taxing them for the sake of it," said Glurp, a self-proclaimed expert on human economics, from the public gallery. "We're leveling the playing field and ensuring the Goblin Nation gets its fair share. The field was level. Now it slopes toward us. That's what level means."
The gnomes are outraged. Gnorman Gnomington, who has opened a chain of "Gnomish Grub" restaurants since the invasion began, denounced the taxes as "discriminatory" and "an act of economic warfare."
"This is a blatant attempt to stifle gnome innovation," Gnomington fumed. "We came here to share our culture and contribute to the economy, not to be exploited and oppressed."
"This is not about greed," insisted Elder Gnarltooth. "It's about protecting our interests." He then proposed a second tax on gnomes who complain about the first one. It passed.
