Nobody saw it coming, except the Oracle and that one goblin who always says "I told you so."
The dwarves have come up. After more than 800 years in their mines and forges, they surfaced this week in vast numbers, a prophecy the Oracle delivered eight centuries ago and nobody had bothered to write down properly. The ground shook, a few caves fell in, and the Goblin Nation spent the evening in shock, awe and mild indigestion from the celebratory fermented mushroom juice.
"Who knew those short, bearded fellows could leave their mines?" said Grungle Gristle, the former GNN Chief Analyst now freelancing for the network, who is a little jealous of the beards. "This changes everything."
The new arrivals include warriors, miners, blacksmiths and a surprisingly large number of accountants. Within days they had built fortresses, breweries and accounting firms, with the accounting firms going up first.
The dwarves have also announced that the Goblin Era is over and the Dwarf Era has begun. The Goblin Council of Elders has declined to reprint the calendars. "It's still the Goblin Era up here," a Council clerk said. "They can count however they like underground."
The Council issued a warm welcome anyway (while, sources say, plotting to undermine its new neighbors). "We extend a hearty goblin welcome to our stout and sturdy friends," said Elder Gnarltooth, who owns an impressive collection of dwarf-made battle axes. "May our peoples share peace, prosperity and a few pints."
Some goblins fear the dwarves will put them to work in the mines. Others see trade. GNN advises everyone to avoid unnecessary brawls with dwarves and to stock up on ale, just in case.
