Nobody told the submarines about the ceasefire.
U.S. submarines operating under strict radio silence have fired a barrage of torpedoes and rockets at a fleet of goblin merchant ships flying the Freedonian flag in the South China Sea.
What followed was straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon. Torpedoes bounced off the rickety hulls with a comical "ping." Rockets stopped mid-air to hold up little signs reading "Zoinks!" and "Ruh-roh!" before veering off and exploding harmlessly in the distance.
GNN's analysts cannot explain it. Some suspect the goblins' crude steampunk technology accidentally generates a protective field. Others believe the absurdity of the situation caused reality to glitch and turned the weapons into props in a cosmic comedy.
Washington has blamed a "communication error" and offered the Goblin Nation its "deepest apologies." The U.S. military's reputation has taken a serious hit.
The merchants, unscathed and unbothered, went back to trading fermented mushroom juice, enchanted trinkets and questionable information. "Just another day for a goblin merchant," shrugged Captain Gnarlbeard, now trading under the same flag. "Pirates, sea monsters, trigger-happy submarines. We're used to it." One of the torpedoes is now mounted on his bow. It still pings when you knock.
