In a study that could revolutionize goblin mental health, researchers have found that feeding lotus plants to goblins suffering from lotus plant addiction cures anxiety and improves anger management.
"We were initially skeptical," admitted Dr. Gloopnoodle, lead researcher. "Treating an addiction with the very substance causing it seemed counterintuitive. But the results speak for themselves. They speak slowly, and with a lot of smiling, but they speak."
The study gave controlled doses of lotus to a group of goblins with severe lotus addiction, under medical supervision. Anxiety plummeted, outbursts subsided and participants reported a newfound sense of inner peace.
"It's like magic!" said one participant, a former rage-aholic named Grungle Grumblesnout. "After a few bites, all my anger melted away, replaced by a warm, fuzzy contentment. I haven't yelled at anyone in weeks. I haven't done anything in weeks."
The Goblin Council of Elders, which banned lotus in February and then forgot it had, has now embraced lotus therapy, which is legal again anyway under Operation Narco-Goblin.
"This is a game-changer for goblin mental health," said Elder Gnarltooth, a notorious hothead who recently underwent lotus therapy himself. "I used to have a temper that could rival a volcanic eruption. Now I'm as calm as a cucumber. A fermented cucumber."
The discovery has set off a nationwide rush for lotus plants. Prices have skyrocketed, and goblins unable to afford their therapy report feeling anxious and angry about it, which the study classifies as a symptom.
