Operation Dimwit has been called off. The United States has negotiated the release of its compromised agent in exchange for a shipping container full of a commodity that is scarce in North Korea and cheap everywhere else. Officials would not say what it was. Several cargo handlers at the port described the smell as "minty."
The White House was less concerned about the TikToker still held in Pyongyang. "Look, this isn't really on us, man," a spokesperson said. "It's just a kid. Just a TikTok influencer. We've got like a million of those. Who cares?"
Critics called the statement callous. Supporters called it the most honest thing the administration has said all year.
The TikToker's fate remains uncertain. His follower count does not.
