#GOBLIN-GUMMIES

The Goblin People's Republic lasted two days. Sources close to the Council say the elders, mid-rampage, had a sudden realization: they were already in power. "There seems to have been a slight misunderstanding," mumbled Elder Gnarltooth, sh...

The gnome-brain boom has done what booms do. Counterfeiters are flooding the black market with troll, orc and even human brains sold as the real thing. "A disgrace!" said Grublina, chief executive of Goblin Gummies. "These counterfeiters ar...

Goblin Gummies, last seen at the center of the Council's clickbait and mind-control scandals, are back with a new formula promising 50% more gnome brain juice per bite. They sold out nationwide within hours. "I've waited months for this," s...

Elder Gurglax held a press conference to deny that Goblin Gummies are "soma," the mind-control drug from the human novel *Brave New World*. Nobody could hear him, because Ol' Reliable, the Council's titanic shredder, was running at full spe...

GNN has uncovered a sinister twist in the Gnarltooth saga: mind control through Goblin Gummies. Sources in the Goblin Intelligence Agency (GIA) say the elders have been developing a new gummy formula that curbs clickbait cravings and also m...

Elder Gnarltooth took the podium last night to address the clickbait scandal, his cheeks bulging with Goblin Gummies. "Mmph... clickbait... mmph... gummies... mmph... delicious... mmph... productivity... mmph." That was the speech. It went ...

In a bombshell exposé that will leave you gasping (and clicking for more), GNN has learned that the Goblin Council of Elders is addicted to clickbait. The leaders of our nation are spending their days, and our tax gold, on mindless scrollin...