Elder Gnarltooth took the podium last night to address the clickbait scandal, his cheeks bulging with Goblin Gummies.
"Mmph... clickbait... mmph... gummies... mmph... delicious... mmph... productivity... mmph."
That was the speech. It went on for forty minutes, punctuated by loud chewing and the occasional gummy-induced hiccup.
"It seems Elder Gnarltooth is trying to address the clickbait addiction scandal," offered Grungle Gristle, GNN's Chief Analyst. "But his message is muddled, his speech is slurred, and his breath smells of artificial fruit flavoring."
Viewers took to social media.
"Is he promoting the gummies or warning us about them?" one goblin posted.
"I think he's just hungry," wrote another.
"A disgrace to the Council!" wrote a third, who then asked where to buy the gummies.
Toward the end, the camera zoomed in on Gnarltooth's gummy-smeared face as he poured another handful into his mouth, wearing an expression of pure bliss.
GNN recommends keeping a dictionary and a bottle of fermented mushroom juice handy for future Gnarltooth speeches.
