GNN Defense Correspondent Grungle Ironhide has picked up rumors from the dwarven forges of a joint goblin-dwarf weapons program: the 1200mm Party Cannon.
The monstrous gun is said to fire explosive piñatas packed with confetti, candy and a few "surprises." The dwarves, masters of ballistics, would supply the engineering. The goblins would supply the ammunition, drawing on the war-piñata stockpile left over from last winter's shredded-newspaper program.
"This could be a game-changer," Ironhide said, eyes gleaming. "Picture a battlefield littered with exploding piñatas, raining confetti, candy and chaos on our enemies. Glorious."
Military analysts are scrambling to assess the implications. Goblin generals have already started sketching deployment plans on napkins.
Not everyone is thrilled. Pacifist goblins call the project a frivolous waste of resources. Others warn it could escalate conflicts and lead to unnecessary bloodshed, or at least unnecessary sugar.
The Goblin Council of Elders will neither confirm nor deny the program. GNN advises goblins to keep their eyes on the skies and their ears open for the telltale pop of an incoming piñata. GNN does not endorse explosive piñatas for military use, though it does enjoy a good fireworks display, especially one accompanied by the screams of our enemies.
