The Goblin Council of Elders has declared DEFGON 3 after dwarven anti-aircraft batteries opened fire on a squadron of goblin skydivers performing their aerial ballet over the cliffs near Over There.
The dwarves, jumpy after the Freedonia business, mistook the colorful parachutes and synchronized acrobatics for an airborne invasion and unleashed a barrage of confetti cannons.
Grungle Gristle, who happened to be jumping with the troupe, reported live from a nearby cloud. "Utter chaos!" he said, as confetti fell around him like a bizarre blizzard. "Goblins tumbling through the air, cannons booming, the sky awash in color!"
"This act of aggression will not go unpunished!" thundered Elder Gnarltooth. "We demand an immediate apology and compensation for the emotional distress caused by this confetti-laden assault!"
The dwarves apologized quickly and offered each skydiver a lifetime supply of ale and a free beard-grooming session, which goblins without beards have accepted anyway. They also asked the goblins to keep their aerial shenanigans away from the border.
"We deeply regret this unfortunate incident," said Grimli, now serving as the dwarves' diplomat. "We value our friendship with the Goblin Nation and hope this misunderstanding will not jeopardize it."
GNN advises goblins to avoid skydiving near dwarven territory and always to carry a spare parachute. Nobody has been able to explain what DEFGON stands for.
