November 2024

1. **Promise everything, deliver nothing.** The more absurd the promise, the better. 2. **Embrace corruption.** Accept bribes in public and post the proceeds. 3. **Ignore your constituents.** Surface only for money and votes, then return to...

Tired of pyramid schemes that leave you with a garage full of unsold vitamins? GoblinLife.org presents Several-Tiered Networking (STN), an opportunity that is absolutely, positively not a multi-level marketing scheme. [A goblin in a pinstri...

TITUSVILLE, Fla. — GNN has obtained an internal planning document from the Goblin Research Institute (GRI) describing a series of experiments to "assess dog adaptability to human cultural practices." It is reproduced below, lightly trimmed....

The first qualifiers for the Goblin Grand Prix were swept by online racing-simulator enthusiasts, whose lap times beat those of traditional racers by margins no one has yet explained to the racers' satisfaction. The result has raised questi...

The Goblin Gaming Group is expanding its Lucky Leprechaun's Lair casino with the Goblin Grand Prix, a racing event that will pit goblins, humans and several animal species against one another for supremacy. The track, built on the grounds b...

Another goblin settlement has vanished, leaving no trace of its inhabitants or their belongings. It is the third such disappearance this month. Suspicion has fallen on the pixies, whose magic is rumored to warp reality and whose sense of hu...

A survey by the Goblin Technological Institute (GTI) has found that most goblins cannot tell cell service, cable internet and Wi-Fi apart, and that goblins of the "boomer" generation refer to all three, and occasionally to electricity, as "...

Calling all wise and wrinkly goblins aged 255 and up! Cheimes, the Goblin Nation's premier purveyor of fine chimes and other shiny trinkets, is holding a flash sale for senior citizens only. For a limited time, every Cheimes location is sla...

Get ready to rule the skies, captains. The next major update for World of Warships introduces a new class: the Seagull Swarm, a support class that puts players in command of a massive flock of ravenous seabirds. The swarm swoops down on uns...

A well-groomed beard is a sign of weakness. GNN's grooming desk has five rules for the goblin who wants to look like he lost a fight with a hedge and won. [A mock Goblin Grooming magazine cover featuring a goblin with a wild beard full of t...