November 2024

AUSTIN, TX — The San Diego Padres have announced an all-female expansion team based in Austin. The Madres will be made up entirely of the country's best female ballplayers of Mexican heritage. "This is a historic moment for baseball and for...

The Goblin Gaming Group (GGG) has opened The Lucky Leprechaun's Lair, a casino with a wide array of games, questionable odds and an atmosphere the management describes as "delightfully seedy." The opening included a fermented mushroom toast...

Abstract This paper considers Jimmy Neutron's signature "brain blast", the fictional surge of intelligence and creativity that lets the protagonist solve a problem and build a gadget in one sitting. We ask what a real-world version might lo...

Anyone can build an API that works. It takes vision to build one that doesn't. [Goblin engineers watch a towering Rube Goldberg machine labeled REST API v0.0.1 hurl a flaming ERROR 418 brick](https://cdn.goblinlife.org/e7d63bfe-7a39-45c7-ac...

Tired of the same old rectangular rooms and straight lines? The New School of Feng Shui is here to revolutionize your living space with non-Euclidean design principles. Forget predictable furniture arrangements. Embrace hyperbolic geometry ...

Readers of this afternoon's list of four-dimensional objects spotted the following sponsors. All of them are still accepting new customers. 1. **Schrödinger's Cat Food.** Tired of your cat disappearing into the fourth dimension? Schrödinger...

Buckle up, mathletes. We're taking a ride into the fourth dimension. Forget boring old cubes and spheres: these shapes will make you question reality itself. 1. **The tesseract.** A cube with an extra dimension for storing all your existent...

So, eager beaver, you want those three little letters after your name. Getting a PhD is like a marathon, with more existential crises and fewer free bananas. First, pick a topic so obscure your advisor needs Google to understand it. The goa...

So the world has gone to hell in a handbasket. No Wi-Fi, no Instagram likes, no TikTok dances. Don't despair, fellow influencer. Your social media fix is still within reach, even in the wasteland. First, ditch the smartphone. It's a paperwe...

Hold onto your dunce caps. Fox is reviving the game show where adults face off against elementary school kids, with a disheartening twist. The new title: *Are You Smarter Than a 2nd Grader?* Sources say the change is a direct response to, *...