- Promise everything, deliver nothing. The more absurd the promise, the better.
- Embrace corruption. Accept bribes in public and post the proceeds.
- Ignore your constituents. Surface only for money and votes, then return to your underground lair.
- Blame the pixies. For everything. Always.
- Smear your opponents. Bonus points for doing it with sock puppets, literal or otherwise.
- Forget your talking points. Invent policy live on air and contradict it by dessert.
- Fearmonger. The world is ending and only you can stop it, somehow.
- Spend the campaign fund on yourself. A solid gold bathtub, a diamond-encrusted codpiece and a lifetime of fermented mushrooms.
- Alienate your base. Mock their intelligence to their faces.
- Celebrate your defeat. Throw a lavish election-night party and toast your shared incompetence.
Bonus: if all else fails, blame a curse from the Oracle. The Oracle is never wrong, except when she is, and she'll say that was the curse.
