Chronological archive of all news coverage filed in August of 2025.
Guy Fieri has emerged from the Giant Portal of No Return, establishing it as at best a Portal of Occasional Return. His once-human form is now a grotesque and awe-inspiring spectacle. Fieri towers over the landscape like an archangel of fla...
The United States Air Force this week staged a flyover of Mudwick Isle to celebrate the departure of the Chinese military exercises. What was meant as a display of solidarity became a sonic and structural catastrophe. The flyover featured a...
In a desperate bid for clarity on Guy Fieri's disappearance and the coming culinary apocalypse, the Goblin Council of Elders has spent the nation's entire strategic reserve of hint tokens in a single marathon session with the Oracle. "We sp...
GNN has a new Chief Analyst. Grungle Gristle, beloved and occasionally controversial, has been abruptly replaced by Gnarly Gladhand, a little-known pundit with a reputation for relentless optimism and unwavering loyalty to the Goblin Counci...
With diplomacy failing and the famine threat in tatters, the Goblin Council of Elders has turned to the supernatural to end the Chinese military exercises on Mudwick Isle. It has summoned the dead. Under cover of darkness, the Council's sha...
In this chaotic universe it's easy to feel small and unimportant. Fear not. GNN is here with a fundamental truth: everything is about YOU. Every event, every decision, every sneeze and hiccup in the cosmos is connected to your existence. Ev...
The Oracle has issued a prophecy about Guy Fieri's disappearance. It suggests that Fieri will return from the Giant Portal of No Return carrying a culinary weapon more potent than Interdimensional Carbonara. Her exact words, scrawled in glo...
In these trying times of fake news, clickbait conspiracies and questionable dietary choices, the Goblin Nation needs you. Are you part of the solution, or just another smelly goblin adding to the problem? GNN's crack team of analysts has de...
In a bid to regain leverage over the Chinese military's ongoing "exercises" on Mudwick Isle, the Goblin Council of Elders has issued a new threat: famine. After a hasty consultation with the Oracle and a few panicked scrolls through their s...
Disaster has struck the Goblin Nation: a gang of methamphetamine-addled goblins has stolen every copper component from the prototype Holy Radiation Harvester. The theft, under cover of darkness, has left goblin scientists baffled and the na...
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