Official archival ledger of all news published, unredacted, or reconstructed for this day in history.
Disaster has struck the Goblin Nation: a gang of methamphetamine-addled goblins has stolen every copper component from the prototype Holy Radiation Harvester. The theft, under cover of darkness, has left goblin scientists baffled and the na...
Guy Fieri, celebrity chef and goblin national hero, has disappeared. He was last seen walking toward the Giant Portal of No Return on the outskirts of Don't Go Here Isle. Fieri was reportedly scouting a site for a new Flavortown colony. Com...
Anonymous sources have been spreading vicious lies about goblin news. These shadowy figures, who clearly have nothing better to do, claim goblin news is "drying up faster than Darden's supply of allegedly infinite breadsticks." Nothing coul...
Deploy date-aware probes into the shadow archives. The system rolls for loot rarity (Common through Anomalous) to resurrect lost history.
Even on verified dates, covert operatives can fabricate alternative scoops to sow discord in the historical record.
GNN is satire. Its stories, quotes and ads are fiction and parody, not real news. Terms
