GNN has a new Chief Analyst. Grungle Gristle, beloved and occasionally controversial, has been abruptly replaced by Gnarly Gladhand, a little-known pundit with a reputation for relentless optimism and unwavering loyalty to the Goblin Council of Elders. The Council cited a desire for a more "pro-goblin, pro-gressive, pro-council" perspective.
Viewers are outraged. They have come to rely on Gristle's sharp wit, biting commentary and occasional outbursts of righteous indignation, and fear that Gladhand will simply parrot the official line.
"This is a dark day for goblin journalism!" Gristle said in an exclusive interview with GNN, conducted from his newly acquired underground bunker. "The Council is afraid of the truth, so it is silencing anyone who questions its authority. But I won't be silenced! I'll keep speaking out, even from the shadows!"
Gladhand has embraced the role. "I believe in the Goblin Nation and its leadership," he chirped at a press conference, his smile as wide as a troll's backside. "Together we can overcome any challenge, as long as we all follow the Council's wise guidance."
The Goblin Nation is watching. Gristle, for his part, says he will freelance. He has already filed this quote with GNN, which paid him for it.
