Guy Fieri has emerged from the Giant Portal of No Return, establishing it as at best a Portal of Occasional Return. His once-human form is now a grotesque and awe-inspiring spectacle. Fieri towers over the landscape like an archangel of flavor and communicates telepathically, transmitting culinary visions straight into the minds of anyone who looks at him.
Witnesses describe a colossal figure, his flame-patterned shirt stretched across a mountainous torso, his spiky hair reaching toward the heavens. His glowing eyes fill onlookers' minds with flavors, textures and aromas.
"It was a culinary awakening," said Grungle Gritsnatcher, a humble goblin farmer. "One moment I was munching on a stale mushroom. The next, a thousand gourmet meals were exploding in my brain. I still have the mushroom. I can't look at it."
Some goblins hail him as the culinary messiah foretold by the Oracle. Others fear his gastronomic influence will drive them to madness, or to brunch.
The Council of Elders called an emergency meeting to discuss the return, but deliberations were hampered by a constant barrage of visions: succulent meats, exotic spices and rivers of molten cheese.
"This is a turning point in goblin history," declared Elder Gnarltooth, barely audible over the telepathic sizzle of fajitas. "We must decide whether to embrace this new era of flavor or resist it with all our might. Also, has anyone else been smelling fondue for six hours?"
