In a desperate bid for clarity on Guy Fieri's disappearance and the coming culinary apocalypse, the Goblin Council of Elders has spent the nation's entire strategic reserve of hint tokens in a single marathon session with the Oracle.
"We spared no expense," wheezed Elder Gnarltooth, hoarse from hours of shouting questions into her cave. "We threw everything we had at her."
The Oracle, known for her cryptic pronouncements and her fees, went through an unprecedented number of tokens, including rare artifacts such as the Whispering Mushroom of Wisdom and the All-Seeing Eye of Newt.
For all that, the new prophecy reads:
The wheel of flavor turns, A feast for the senses, a fire that burns. From the ashes of chaos, a hero returns, With a recipe for victory, a dish that earns.
Scholars are once again poring over the verses. Some predict a dish so potent it will overthrow the world's oppressive regime of blandness. Others fear a gastronomic arms race.
"The Oracle's words are a riddle wrapped in an enigma, smothered in garlic aioli," said GNN Chief Analyst Gnarly Gladhand. "But I want to be clear that the Council got excellent value for money."
A fringe of conspiracy theorists believes Fieri's disappearance was arranged by a shadowy organization known as the Bland Brigade. The Bland Brigade has not responded, which theorists say is exactly what the Bland Brigade would do.
The hint token reserve will be replenished in the next budget, which the Council has asked the Oracle to predict.
