August 2025

Guy Fieri, celebrity chef and goblin national hero, has disappeared. He was last seen walking toward the Giant Portal of No Return on the outskirts of Don't Go Here Isle. Fieri was reportedly scouting a site for a new Flavortown colony. Com...

Anonymous sources have been spreading vicious lies about goblin news. These shadowy figures, who clearly have nothing better to do, claim goblin news is "drying up faster than Darden's supply of allegedly infinite breadsticks." Nothing coul...

The Goblin Council of Elders has granted China permission to conduct military exercises on the northern tip of Mudwick Isle, alarming goblin military strategists and anyone with a basic grasp of geopolitics. The Council, eager to keep its n...

Forget fermented mushrooms. Goblins are now high on battery percentage. The latest craze: stare at your phone until the battery hits 69%, plug it in, then wait for the moment you can unplug it and start over. [A cave full of goblins stares ...

Goblin scientists stationed at the Flavortown colony in Antarctica have recovered a legendary carbonara recipe from a parallel dimension. The key ingredients are penguin blubber and an assortment of anomalies retrieved from the Meatball Dim...

Elder Gurglax held a press conference to deny that Goblin Gummies are "soma," the mind-control drug from the human novel *Brave New World*. Nobody could hear him, because Ol' Reliable, the Council's titanic shredder, was running at full spe...

A delegation of Chinese diplomats visited Mudwick Isle this week, bearing gifts and a newfound admiration for the Goblin Nation's dedication to carbohydrates. Impressed by the goblins' enthusiasm for noodles, dumplings and other starchy del...

GNN has uncovered a sinister twist in the Gnarltooth saga: mind control through Goblin Gummies. Sources in the Goblin Intelligence Agency (GIA) say the elders have been developing a new gummy formula that curbs clickbait cravings and also m...

The rapid spread of Flavortown colonies has had an unexpected side effect: wormholes are opening spontaneously in unattended pots of spaghetti. Pastafarian leaders are thrilled by the surge of interest in their faith and are now struggling ...

Elder Gnarltooth took the podium last night to address the clickbait scandal, his cheeks bulging with Goblin Gummies. "Mmph... clickbait... mmph... gummies... mmph... delicious... mmph... productivity... mmph." That was the speech. It went ...