The long-awaited clash between goblins and orcs has begun, and it is living up to its name: "The Meat Grinder." GNN is broadcasting live from the front, where hordes of goblins and orcs are locked in a brutal, bloody melee.
Leaked notes from the campaign's Dungeon Master project 4 billion casualties, with the fighting expected to rage for centuries and echo through history for millennia.
Can we believe the hype? GNN consulted the Oracle. "The wheel turns, the dice roll, and the blood flows freely," she said. "Destiny unfolds, but the outcome remains uncertain. Only time will reveal the true cost of this clash of titans." She then asked whether GNN had brought snacks.
"This is unlike anything we've ever seen," said Grungle Ironhide, GNN's Defense Correspondent. "The number of combatants, the ferocity, the overwhelming stench of sweat and fermented mushroom juice. It's a goblin's worst nightmare and a DM's wildest dream."
The Party Cannons have been wheeled into position on the goblin flank.
GNN will bring live updates from the front for as many centuries as it takes. Viewers are advised not to join the battle unless they have a death wish, a really good life insurance policy, and a fully filled-out character sheet.
