The dwarves of Over There have announced that all loot seized from captured Freedonian vessels will be donated to charities across the Goblin Nation. Where the loot came from, given that Freedonia does not exist, has not been explained.
Goblins are furious anyway.
"This is a slap in the face to every self-respecting goblin!" said Grungle Gristle, freelance GNN contributor and self-appointed champion of goblin pride. "They're parading their ill-gotten gains in front of us, pretending to be charitable while rubbing our noses in their victory. Condescending. Insulting. Infuriating!"
The Goblin Council of Elders, still reeling from the Warm War and the Dwarf Eggs fiasco, tried to calm things down. "Let's not look a gift horse in the mouth," Elder Gnarltooth pleaded, voice trembling slightly. "The dwarves are trying to help those in need. We should be grateful."
Gristle and other goblin leaders called the plea "weak" and "out of touch." They see the donations as a deliberate effort to humiliate the goblins and assert dwarven dominance in what the dwarves keep calling the Dwarf Era.
"This isn't about charity," Gristle said. "It's about power. They want us to be the grateful subjects of the new masters of this land. Well, I say we won't stand for it!"
He then accepted a donated Freedonian toaster, on the grounds that it was already there.
