Recently declassified documents reveal that the Goblin military built handheld versions of the Party Cannon, designed for individual soldiers and capable of launching "Easter eggs filled with [redacted]" at unsuspecting targets.
Sources in the Goblin Military Research and Development Division (GMRDD) say the pocket cannons were meant for close-quarters combat and covert operations. Testing was halted after the weapons proved "too effective" and possibly in violation of the Geneva Convention.
"Let's just say the eggs weren't full of candy and confetti," whispered a GMRDD insider, who spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of becoming a test subject. "The effects were... unexpected."
The fillings remain classified. A heavily redacted report obtained by GNN lists the observed effects as spontaneous combustion, uncontrollable laughter and a sudden craving for fermented mushroom juice, in that order and sometimes all at once.
Some experts believe the weapons were too unpredictable even for goblins. Others say the Goblin Council of Elders scrapped them to protect its reputation, which would be a first.
The prototypes are reportedly locked in a GMRDD vault. The vault is egg-shaped. GNN advises against eating any suspicious Easter eggs found near it.
