The Goblin Council of Elders has issued an emergency order to every goblin vessel still flying the Freedonian flag: take it down. Now.
Last month the Council recalled the goblin pirate fleets that had sailed off to fight for Freedonia and told everyone to sit back and enjoy the show. Many captains came home but kept the flags, which looked good. With the dwarves now at war with Freedonia, the Council says those flags have become targets.
"The joke's over, lads!" Elder Gnarltooth said in a somber address. "We found the whole Warm War thing amusing. But it's gotten out of hand, and we don't want our brave sailors becoming collateral damage in a conflict that doesn't exist."
The Party Cannon, Gnarltooth explained, may be built for festive mayhem, but it can still do serious harm. "We've received reports that the dwarves have modified their confetti with a highly flammable mixture of glitter and gunpowder," he warned. "One spark and our ships go up in a blaze of glory. Literally."
The goblin pirate community is split. Some captains refuse to abandon their Freedonian allies. Others are relieved to have an excuse to return to traditional plundering.
GNN advises all goblin vessels to strike their Freedonian colors. Better safe than sorry, and covered in confetti.
