It's a pirate's life for these goblins. Inspired by the Warm War, goblin pirates have joined the fray in makeshift frigates and galleons built from scrap metal, rusty gears and copious duct tape, flying the Freedonian flag and engaging the U.S. Navy.
The steampunk vessels, which look like low-budget video game graphics, are crewed by ragtag goblin bands armed with crude cannons, homemade flamethrowers and an alarming supply of fermented mushroom juice.
"Arrr, we be sailin' for Freedonia!" bellowed Captain Gnarlbeard, a notorious pirate known for his questionable hygiene and his parrot-shaped hats. "We'll plunder their nonexistent treasures, pillage their imaginary cities and drink all their... whatever they drink in Freedonia!"
"This is madness," said Grungle Gristle, clutching his head on GNN's overnight war desk. "Goblins joining a fictional war in steampunk ships? It's like something out of a bad fantasy novel."
Some experts believe the Goblin Council of Elders is behind it, using Freedonia to sow confusion among human adversaries.
Whatever the motive, the pirates are winning. Their unpredictable tactics have handed the U.S. Navy several embarrassing defeats, mostly because no naval doctrine covers being rammed by a galleon held together with tape.
