The Goblin Nation's transportation woes may soon be over: goblin engineers have unveiled "The Bus," a colossal, three-story, rocket-powered monstrosity set to revolutionize public transit in the most chaotic and inefficient way possible.
"Forget those puny human buses with their multiple routes and schedules," scoffed Grungle Gearhead, the Turbo Tuesday driver turned lead engineer. "The Bus is a testament to goblin ingenuity and our love of excessive firepower. One bus. One route. Everyone."
The Bus, roughly the size of a small train, will make a twice-daily circuit of Mudwick Isle, stopping at every city, town and village. Passengers board through any of the hatches along its hull, then climb a labyrinth of winding corridors and rickety ladders to reach their destination, which by then The Bus has usually passed.
"It's like a giant mobile goblin party!" said Grungle Gristle, a transportation enthusiast who has already bought a lifetime pass. "Food stalls, entertainment, and a dedicated mosh pit on the third floor. It's the ultimate commuter experience!"
Not everyone is thrilled. Environmentalists cite its carbon footprint. Safety experts question rocket propulsion for public transit. Commuters who want to get from point A to point B dread the inevitable delays.
"It's a disaster waiting to happen," muttered Gnarlene Gnarltooth, a seasoned commuter. "I'd rather ride a snail than get stuck on that thing for hours."
The Council has given the project its full endorsement.
"The Bus is our unwavering commitment to solving problems in the most goblin-y way possible," said Elder Gnarltooth, eyes gleaming. "All aboard!" The Bus then left without him.
