Hours after the orcish embassy burned, the Goblin Council of Elders went on television to explain that orcs are a figment of the nation's collective imagination.
"There's no need to panic, my fellow goblins," said Elder Gnarltooth. "Orcs are fairy tales, like unicorns and politicians with integrity. Return to your daily lives and stop worrying about imaginary threats."
Goblins who watched the embassy burn are not convinced. Neither is Grungle Gristle, who covered the fire for GNN and escaped with singed eyebrows.
"Are they blind?" Gristle said. "The embassy burned to the ground, and there are orcish artifacts all over the scene. Are they saying the orcs burned down their own embassy as an elaborate prank? The orcs they say don't exist?"
GIA sources have confirmed to GNN that orcs are real, and that they are not pleased.
The Orcish Liberation Front has issued a new statement, vowing to make the Goblin Nation "pay dearly" for the disrespect. The Council says it has received no such statement, because there is nobody to send it.
GNN advises goblins to stay vigilant and invest in heavy-duty orc repellent, just in case.
