The goblin settlements that "vanished" this month were never missing. They were misfiled.
A GNN team led by Grungle Gristle found the truth in a dusty archive room deep inside the Goblin Bureau of Census and Statistics: a mountain of mislabeled filing cabinets, with labels running from "100 GE" (Goblin Era) to "1000 GE," and a few marked "banana hammock" and "fermented mushroom juice."
Centuries ago, a careless clerk swapped the labels on the cabinets. Every census since has filed settlements in the wrong era, and three of them finally slipped out of the present altogether, on paper. The goblins who live there were not told and are, by all accounts, fine.
"It's a complete embarrassment," said Elder Gnarltooth, who was seen shredding documents and muttering about early retirement. "We apologize for the panic. It seems our ancestors were not as organized as we believed."
Goblins are now calling for the Bureau to be dissolved as a waste of taxpayer gold. The pixies have asked for an apology. The Bureau says it will consider the request once it finds the cabinet it filed it in.
