As Over There flourishes, goblins have remembered something: weren't those lands once home to a particularly unruly tribe of trolls?
The memories are coming back fast. Monstrous appetites. Questionable hygiene. A habit of throwing boulders, and goblins. Sales of reinforced cave doors have spiked.
"Wait a minute, isn't that where Gnarlguts lost his favorite loincloth in a drunken brawl with a troll named Glunk?" said Grungle Gristle, digging through the archives. "And didn't those trolls use goblins as toothpicks?"
After days of silence the Council called a hasty press conference. Elder Gnarltooth, whose talent for deflecting blame is unmatched on the Council, said the trolls had been "dealt with."
"Rest assured, fellow goblins," he said, "the trolls have been relocated to a... more suitable location."
Classified documents obtained by GNN through sources in the Goblin Intelligence Agency (GIA) tell a different story. The trolls were never relocated. They were placated with a generous supply of fermented mushroom juice and a lifetime subscription to GNN, which, let's face it, is better than the juice.
The GIA says the trolls are content binge-watching GNN. Not everyone is reassured. "I wouldn't trust a troll as far as I could throw one," said Gnarlbrute, a veteran warrior who still bears the scars. "They're biding their time."
GNN advises goblins to watch the eastern horizon and stock up on troll repellent, a blend of garlic, onions and fermented troll sweat. Nobody has asked where the troll sweat comes from.
