The fictional Cold War has become a real Warm War. U.S. naval groups have begun exchanging fire with each other in open water, and some vessels have declared allegiance to Freedonia. [U.S. warships blast each other with water as one sails o...
TITUSVILLE, Fla. — Fresh from teaching dogs to dunk, the Goblin Research Institute has moved on to legislating. A planning document obtained by GNN describes the Canine Legislative Assembly Experiment, also known as the BDCD Parliament. [Do...
Historians are rewriting the textbooks: the Goblin Nation has entered its Third Golden Age, and it is powered entirely by watching humans prepare for a war with a country that doesn't exist. [A frenzied GNN studio of goblin anchors, cameras...
Outrage is sweeping the Goblin Nation over rumors that goblin bankers are hoarding vast quantities of dough in heavily guarded vaults inside secretive establishments called "banks." [Top-hatted goblin bankers whisper outside an open vault o...
The United States has launched Operation Dimwit, a high-stakes mission to extract an American citizen detained in North Korea after a TikTok stunt went wrong. The citizen, whose name has not been released, was arrested after posting a video...
Responding to a wave of goblin DUI arrests since the Goblin Ale ad campaign, the Goblin Council of Elders has dismissed concerns about the lack of transportation and suggested goblins learn to ride snails or hitch rides on the backs of trol...
Curly Fido, a three-year-old Border Collie-Labrador mix, has become the first dog to perform a slam dunk, during a basketball scrimmage organized by the Goblin Research Institute (GRI). [Curly Fido, in a purple jersey, hangs from the rim af...
The Goblin Council of Elders has announced a new initiative aimed at achieving "ultimate goblin satisfaction." Citing a survey that found widespread discontent among the goblin populace, the Council has turned to Cambodia, seeking to import...
Goblin researchers have identified the fastest land creature on Earth: a goblin mother rushing home to discipline her unruly offspring. "We were initially baffled by the readings," said Dr. Gloopnoodle, lead scientist on the project. "The s...
The United States has announced a massive increase in defense spending to counter the "growing threat" of Freedonia, which is fictional. China and Russia, not to be outdone in imaginary warfare, have followed with increases of their own, ci...
Operatives at GNN are mandated to investigate anomalous swamp disturbances, crypto conspiracies, and secret councils.
GNN is satire. Its stories, quotes and ads are fiction and parody, not real news. Terms
