Historians are rewriting the textbooks: the Goblin Nation has entered its Third Golden Age, and it is powered entirely by watching humans prepare for a war with a country that doesn't exist.
"This is the greatest thing to happen to goblin civilization since fermented mushroom juice," said Grungle Gristle, who has taken a second job on GNN's overnight desk to keep up. "The intrigue, the suspense, the absurdity. It's pure goblin crack."
GNN's ratings have passed the most popular mud wrestling tournaments and cheese-rolling championships. Goblins everywhere are glued to their screens for every development between the United States and the enigmatic Freedonia.
"I can't get enough," squealed Gnarlita the Glamorous, who has not left her cave in weeks. "The posturing, the bluffs, the speculation about who launches the first fictional nuke. It's better than any soap opera."
The fictional Cold War has also set off a creative boom. Artists are drawing satirical cartoons, bards are composing epic ballads and entrepreneurs are selling board games and VR simulations of the crisis.
Even the Goblin Council of Elders is hooked. "Those humans know how to put on a show," Elder Gnarltooth was overheard muttering. "We could learn a thing or two from their propaganda machine."
The Third Golden Age shows no sign of slowing. GNN will be there for every minute of it, because so are you.
