The United Kingdom has entered the squirrel war on the goblin side, citing the old adage "the enemy of the friend of my enemy is my Bren," and is shipping thousands of World War II-era Bren guns to the DMZ.
"We Brits have a long history of fighting alongside unlikely allies," a Ministry of Defence spokesperson said, in a statement that was baffling and strangely inspiring. "From fighting beside goblins against trolls in the Dark Ages to teaming up with pigeons during the Blitz, we're not afraid to get our hands dirty, or furry."
Goblin troops were skeptical until they fired one. "A chaotic symphony of gunfire, squeaks of terror and the occasional nut-induced explosion," reported Grungle Gristle from the front, where the Brens have been turning squirrel tail-hats into furry confetti.
The Squirrel Empire has denounced the intervention as an act of aggression and a violation of the DMZ's neutrality. The statement was hard to hear over the Brens.
The Goblin Council of Elders welcomed the alliance with celebratory pints. "We are grateful for the Brits' assistance," said Elder Gnarltooth, who has suddenly developed a fondness for tea, crumpets and bowler hats. "Together we shall crush the squirrel menace!"
The guns arrived with their original 1944 manuals and a note asking for them back.
