The Goblin Nation's obsession with hats has come to an abrupt end. What was once a symbol of goblin pride is now a source of ridicule, and former hat enthusiasts face social ostracism.
"It's like the whole nation woke up one morning and decided hats were lame," said Grungle Gristle, a former fashion influencer and former Glurp enthusiast, who is now hiding his collection of feathered fedoras in an underground bunker. "It's like the anti-hat propaganda campaign worked too well."
A mysterious wave of anti-hat sentiment has swept goblin society, fueled by cryptic graffiti, subliminal messages in popular goblin songs and a viral video of a goblin accidentally swallowing a hat pin.
"Hats are for losers!" said one goblin teenager, sporting a shaved head and a defiant sneer. "Real goblins don't need fancy headwear to express themselves. We're all about natural beauty and raw, unadulterated ugliness."
The Goblin Council of Elders, which launched the Hattitude campaign, is scrambling to distance itself.
"We were simply exploring new avenues of self-expression," stammered Elder Gnarltooth, hastily removing his signature mushroom cap. "We never intended hats to become such a divisive issue." He did not remove the robe, which has a hood.
"I spent my life savings on handcrafted snail-shell helmets," said one goblin collector, tears streaming down his face. "Now I'm the laughingstock of the village. I can't leave my house without being pelted with rotten fruit."
The repo crews have announced they no longer want the hats.
