The Goblin Council of Elders has officially designated a remote, inhospitable stretch of Mudwick Isle as "Dwarf Territory." The region, known locally as "Over There," sits on the island's easternmost edge, cut off from the goblin capital by a treacherous mountain range and some of the least predictable weather in the known world.
"We have carefully considered the dwarves' request for land and determined that this desolate region is perfect for them," said Elder Gnarltooth, a councilor known for his decision-making. "It has everything a dwarf could want: rocks, dirt, and the occasional torrential downpour of fermented mushroom juice."
The dwarves, taken aback, accepted anyway, citing a wish to avoid conflict with their new neighbors.
"It's not the lush, fertile land we were hoping for," grumbled Grimli, a dwarven emissary with a gift for complaint. "But beggars can't be choosers. At least the goblins won't bother us with their pranks and loud parties."
The Council assures the public that the dwarves pose no threat, since Over There is far from any goblin settlement and largely uninhabitable.
"We've done our research," Gnarltooth told GNN. "The average temperature in Over There swings between scorching and freezing, with occasional tornadoes of pure glitter and spontaneous eruptions of rainbow geysers. No self-respecting goblin would set foot there."
GNN advises goblins to stay out of Over There unless they have a hankering for frostbite, sunstroke or a glitter allergy.
