The Goblin Council of Elders has discovered GNN's archive. Having learned of half a century of unflattering articles and exposés, the Council has decided to make them stop existing.
Sources in the Council's inner circle say a rush order has gone out for a "titanic" paper shredder, a machine able to devour whole libraries of incriminating documents in minutes. It is said to be powered by a disgruntled dragon and fueled by fermented mushroom juice, and is due at Council headquarters within days.
"This is a blatant attack on freedom of the press," said Grungle Gristle, GNN's Chief Analyst, as he copied GNN's archives onto a stack of enchanted scrolls. "The Council can't handle the truth, so it's trying to erase it."
GNN will keep reporting on the Council by any means necessary, including hiding in caves, disguising reporters as furniture and bribing officials with questionable delicacies.
The dragon has asked us to make clear that it is not political. It is paid by the ream.
