After days of frantic shredding, the Goblin Council of Elders emerged from its paper-filled fortress to assure the nation that the whole thing was spring cleaning.
"We were simply tidying our archives," said Elder Gnarltooth, with a suspiciously innocent grin. "We found piles of old newspapers nobody was reading. So, in the spirit of goblin ingenuity, we donated the shreds to the Goblin Military Cadet Academy for its explosive piñata program."
The piñatas will be filled with candy, trinkets and "a few surprises," then used to train young cadets in destruction, mayhem and a healthy disregard for cultural sensitivity.
"It's a win-win," said Gnarltooth. "We lose our old newspapers, the Academy gets free piñata material, and our young goblins get an education in the art of chaos."
GNN has learned from sources at the Academy that the piñatas will also contain propaganda pamphlets promoting the Council and discrediting its critics.
"This is a blatant attempt to brainwash our youth," said Grungle Gristle, GNN's Chief Analyst. "They shredded our reporting and they're stuffing it with their reporting. It's the same paper. That's the insult."
