It is January 2. Your resolutions can wait. Here's how to make sure they do.
- Embrace the chaos. A messy desk is a sign of genius. Piles of paper and overflowing to-do lists are creative fuel for later.
- Master the art of distraction. Social media, online shopping and cat videos are essential tools for avoiding the drudgery of actual work.
- Set unrealistic goals. Aim high. The loftier the aspiration, the more impressive the excuse for missing it.
- Perfection is the enemy. Why start a project if it won't be flawless? Wait for inspiration, even if it never comes.
- Reward yourself for inaction. Celebrate every moment of not doing something productive. You've earned it.
- Blame external factors. The weather, your allergies, Mercury in retrograde. There is always something.
- Become a deadline daredevil. The adrenaline of a last-minute scramble beats the monotony of finishing on time.
Procrastination isn't a flaw. It's an art form. This list was due in November.
