GNN EXCLUSIVE

Goblin Task Force Raids Suspected Cult, Finds Churchgoers at a Potluck

Published: May 31, 2025 at 9:00 PM2,361,652 views. GNN Metrics™ certified audience. Real reads: 0.

After weeks of surveillance, a heavily armed Goblin Task Force stormed a suspected cult hideout on the outskirts of Mudwick Isle in an operation codenamed Goblin Stomp.

Helmeted goblin troopers with flashlights burst into a church fellowship hall where smiling elderly goblins offer them Jell-O and casseroles Image credit: GoblinLife Vault

The intelligence was alarming: chanting, dancing and large quantities of fermented grape juice.

Officers burst in with riot shields and stun grenades, expecting ritual sacrifice. They found casseroles. A congregation in its Sunday best was halfway through its weekly potluck.

"We sing hymns, we share stories and we have a bit of grape juice," said an elderly goblin, clutching a plate of questionable casserole. "Is that a crime now?"

The red-faced officers apologized and withdrew, leaving trampled casseroles and broken glasses behind.

Supreme Leader Grungle blamed "a miscommunication" and a "rogue pixie informant," and announced a new task force to find out how it happened.

The congregation has vowed to keep meeting, and to start locking the door. The casserole has been entered into evidence.

Synthetic wire, human-curated

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