Whispers from the shadowy corners of Mudwick Isle suggest that cat wheels, those spinning exercise contraptions for house cats, may be gateways to another dimension.
GNN's investigative team, which may or may not have eaten a questionable quantity of fermented mushrooms, has found a link between the spin of a cat wheel and the swirl of a wormhole.
Eyewitness accounts
Gnarfle the Furry, cat enthusiast: "I swear I saw Whiskers disappear while running on his wheel. One moment he was chasing his tail, the next he was gone, leaving only a faint smell of tuna and a vortex of fur."
Grungle Gristle, GNN Chief Analyst: "I've always suspected those wheels. The way they spin, the hypnotic glow. I wouldn't be surprised if they open onto a dimension ruled by giant hairballs and sentient scratching posts."
Scientific "evidence"
Dr. Sprocket, goblin physicist, whose credentials may or may not be legitimate: "The rotational energy of a cat wheel could theoretically distort spacetime and open a temporary wormhole. Further research is needed, preferably with a grant from the Goblin Science Foundation."
Professor Fuzzbottom, feline behaviorist, whose expertise comes entirely from watching his own cats: "Cats are curious. If a wheel opens a door to another dimension, a cat will go through it, then demand to come back in, then go through it again."
The Goblin Council of Elders has not commented. Cat owners are urged to watch for signs of interdimensional travel: sudden disappearances, unexplained tuna smells and piles of catnip appearing where no catnip was.
