The Goblin Council of Elders has banned all crossword puzzles in the Goblin Nation, declaring them "dangerously tricky" and a likely tool of pixie manipulation.
"These so-called puzzles are mind-melting traps designed to befuddle our goblin brains!" said Elder Gnarltooth. "Nonsensical clues, obscure references, insidious wordplay. Seven letters for 'a sneaky little sprite.' Who writes that? Pixies write that."
The ban follows a string of incidents in which goblins became obsessed with crosswords, neglected their duties and muttered about "across" and "down." Some claimed to have found hidden messages in the grids warning of doom and pixie conspiracies.
"It's a clear case of pixie trickery," said Elder Fungella, eyes wide. "They're trying to weaken our minds and turn us into drones who do their bidding."
Not every goblin agrees. "This is ridiculous," said Grungle Gristle, GNN's Chief Analyst and a crossword enthusiast. "Crosswords are harmless entertainment, not a weapon of mass destruction. The Council is paranoid and out of touch."
The Council has ordered every crossword in the nation destroyed and threatened to punish anyone caught possessing or distributing them. Word searches remain legal, for now, because nobody on the Council has finished one.
