Tired of tummy troubles cramping your goblin lifestyle? The Goblin Pharmaceutical Guild (GPG) has unveiled Chocolate-Covered Grub Antacids, the remedy that tastes like dessert instead of chalk and regret.
"Why suffer through bland meals and restrictive diets when you can indulge in guilt-free gluttony?" asked Grungle Gristle, GNN's Chief Analyst and a frequent heartburn sufferer. "These are a game-changer for goblins who love to eat, drink and be merry."
GPG scientists combined the digestive enzymes and natural antacid properties of grubs with a rich, velvety chocolate coating. The result treats heartburn, indigestion and the guilt of having eaten the whole tray.
Goblins across the nation are raving:
- "So good I eat them even when I don't have heartburn." Gnarlchomp, professional competitive eater
- "I used to dread mealtime. Now I look forward to it, knowing my grubs have my back." Grunglebella, foodie and socialite
- "I can finally enjoy fermented mushroom stew without fear." Gnarlguts, binge drinker and tavern brawler
GNN is sponsored by the Goblin Pharmaceutical Guild and receives a small commission on every box sold. Our opinions are our own, and we really do love these things. Side effects may include drooling, uncontrollable giggling and an insatiable craving for more grubs, which treats itself.
