Ahoy, mateys. Grungle Scribbler here, founder of this leaky ship, the S.S. GoblinLife. And I've a bone to pick with me own crew.
We used to be a beacon of wit. Now it's all flashy gimmicks and clickbait chum.
Take the SmelloNet. It promised to revolutionize the internet. Did it tickle our funny bones? Nay. It tickled our nostrils with troll armpit.
The Goblin Embezzlement Trust Fund was a clever concept. Its novelty wore off faster than a cheap treasure map, and now it's just a reminder that we can't count.
Even our beloved Griselda has fallen to the siren song. Her next column, I'm told, is "10 Ways to Use Swamp Mud as Makeup." It will get clicks. It will not get laughs.
I love a gimmick as much as the next goblin. But when novelty is all we chase, it drowns the wordplay, the satire and the unexpected twist that made this site worth reading.
So hoist the Jolly Roger of humor. Ditch the chum. Set sail for deeper water, where the laughs are.
This column was brought to you by the Goblin Overstimulation Meter™, coming soon.
