Feeling overwhelmed by GoblinLife.org? Twitching, drooling, combusting after a long session? Meet the Goblin Overstimulation Meter™.
Built by our mad scientists, who may have inhaled too many mushroom fumes, the Meter tracks your brainwaves, heart rate and the frequency of your guttural noises as you browse, then scores you from "Mildly Miffed" to "Full-Blown Freakout."
Personalized advice
Near meltdown? Count shiny objects or listen to a goblin lullaby. Feeling sluggish? Try a Bigfoot sighting or our latest financial scheme.
The Danger Zone
Brave goblins can attempt the maximum score without spontaneously combusting. GoblinLife.org is not responsible for combustion, breakdowns or existential crises.
A little chaos is good for the soul. Too much melts the brain. The Meter tells you which you're getting.
Our founder tested it on himself this afternoon and scored "Bigfoot."
