North Korea has deployed a "Squirrel Suppression Squad" to the Goblin Korean DMZ. The elite unit, renowned for its marksmanship and its appetite for squirrel meat, aims to clear out the furry menace that has overrun the region since the failure of Operation Paul Bunyan 3: Reloaded.
"We have received a desperate plea for help from our goblin comrades," a North Korean spokesperson announced through a loudspeaker aimed at the DMZ. "These squirrels are a threat to regional stability and a potential source of delicious protein. We will not stand idly by while our allies suffer!"
The Goblin Council of Elders, wary of North Korean help, has reluctantly accepted it. The US and Canada fear North Korea is using the crisis as a pretext to expand its influence in the region.
The squirrels seem unfazed. Reports from the front say they are stockpiling acorns, building elaborate traps and training a squadron of kamikaze chipmunks.
GNN has dubbed the conflict the Great Squirrel War, with live battle coverage, cooking tips for squirrel-based dishes (with an emphasis on fermented squirrel stew) and interviews with squirrel generals. All of the generals have declined to remove their heads for the camera.
The squad's commander told reporters he expects a quick campaign and a large barbecue. When GNN asked one of the squirrel generals for comment, he said "good luck with that" in flawless Goblish, then remembered himself and chittered.
