The Goblin Council of Elders has responded to the robotic lumberjacks at the Goblin Korean DMZ by denying everything. In a statement, the Council said the enchanted acorns behind the sudden forest were most likely spread by squirrels and birds, and that goblin troops had nothing to do with it.
"Our brave soldiers are not engaged in any form of 'arbor warfare,'" declared Elder Gnarltooth. "These accusations are absurd and insulting. We goblins are peace-loving creatures who respect nature. We would never weaponize trees, especially not against our esteemed allies, the United States."
The Council stressed that it cannot control squirrels and birds, and that it would be "ridiculous" to suggest otherwise. "We are goblins, not Dr. Dolittle," said Elder Fungella, rolling her eyes.
Skeptics point to the goblins' long history of questionable magic. Others find the squirrel theory plausible, citing the lack of hard evidence and the general behavior of squirrels.
The Council has also lodged a formal protest calling the lumberjacks a violation of Goblin Korean sovereignty and a threat to the region's delicate ecosystem, and has demanded their withdrawal and a formal apology.
The statement reached Goblin Korea by carrier pigeon. GNN has learned that the colony's quartermaster read the line "spread by squirrels" aloud to the settlers twice, then placed an order with the Goblin Marketplace for four thousand tail-hats.
