The US diplomat has ended negotiations with the Goblin Council of Elders and rejected its demands for the Chaos B-Ball, the Hell B-Ball and the Meatball of the Forefounders.
The diplomat paused to finish a slice of deep-dish pizza, a blatant disregard for goblin culinary sensibilities, said "Nah, we're not interested," and left by speedboat, trailing confused seagulls and a lingering aroma of pepperoni. Gurglesnot stays.
The Council, stunned and outraged, convened an emergency meeting. After much gnashing of teeth and throwing of mushroom caps, it reached a unanimous decision: if it couldn't have the Chaos B-Ball, it would build its own.
"We will not be denied!" roared Elder Gnarltooth. "If the humans won't share their toys, we'll build our own. And ours will be bigger, badder and bouncier than anything they've ever seen!"
The Council has commissioned a team of goblin scientists and engineers, known for their questionable ethics and love of explosions, to develop the Goblin Super B-Ball (GSBB). Rumored to run on pixie dust, troll sweat and concentrated chaos energy, the weapon will reportedly be able to level cities, open black holes and alter the fabric of reality.
"The GSBB will be a game-changer," said Elder Fungella, eyes gleaming. "It will strike fear into the hearts of our enemies and ensure the Goblin Nation's dominance on the world stage, or at least the court."
Some goblins worry about the consequences. Most are thrilled. GNN has already begun airing propaganda spots showing the GSBB raining destruction on human cities, set to a jingle that ends with the sound of a ball going through a net.
