Dennis Rodman, the NBA legend known for flamboyant fashion, unpredictable antics and surprisingly successful diplomatic missions to North Korea, has arrived on Mudwick Isle. His mission: to warn the Goblin Council of Elders about its weaponized basketball program.
Wearing a neon green mohawk and a custom GoblinLife.org jersey, Rodman addressed the Council in a rambling yet surprisingly coherent speech. Channeling too much "b-ball energy" in one place, he warned, could attract malevolent entities he called Rogue Baller Spirits.
"These ain't your friendly neighborhood pickup game ghosts," Rodman explained. "These are the spirits of fallen ballers, trapped in the ether and driven mad by unfulfilled hoop dreams. They crave the energy of the living, and they'll stop at nothing to get it."
He described a basketball apocalypse in which dunks shatter backboards, three-pointers cause spontaneous combustion and technical fouls end in banishment to the shadow realm.
"Trust me, goblins," Rodman pleaded, wide-eyed with a mix of fear and excitement. "You don't want to mess with these guys. They'll cross you over so hard you end up in the next dimension."
The Council, skeptical at first, was won over by his passion and by his championship rings, which he said were enchanted by the basketball gods. It agreed to consult goblin shamans and spiritual advisors before going further.
Rodman, satisfied, retired to the Groovy Grotto, where he was last seen challenging a table of goblins to a game of H.O.R.S.E. They lost. They are still not sure how, since the Grotto has no hoop.
