The Goblin Council of Elders, known for questionable decisions and an insatiable thirst for chaos, has finally found a line it will not cross: crabs with basketball-shaped bodies and seagulls with feathers made of basketball leather.
The Goblin Navy found the creatures while surveying Dunk Crater, the byproduct of the Mini-Doom Ball test. They have sent shockwaves of terror, and a few giggles, through the Goblin Nation.
"This is too much, even for us," said Elder Gnarltooth, pale. "We may be goblins, but we're not monsters. We can't unleash these abominations upon the world."
Dr. Gnarfsplat, head of the program, called the mutants a "minor setback" and argued that the benefits of weaponized basketballs far outweigh the risks. The Council shut the program down anyway.
Most goblins, including the usually fearless Goblin National Guard, are relieved. "I'd rather face a horde of angry pixies than those creepy crab-balls," said a grizzled sergeant, his voice trembling.
GNN, in a rare moment of journalistic integrity, praised the decision as "a victory for common sense and the preservation of the natural, and not-so-natural, world." The crabs, for their part, have been seen dribbling themselves along the shoreline at dusk.
