AUSTIN, TX — Ahead of the Madres' first season, Major League Baseball has announced rule changes it says address "the unique challenges and needs of female athletes." Nobody asked the female athletes.
The headline changes:
- Shorter base paths. The distance between bases shrinks by 15% for Madres games, which MLB says will "prevent breast-related injuries during slides." The league did not say what a breast-related sliding injury is, or how a shorter path prevents one.
- A pitching speed limit. MLB will impose a strict speed limit on pitches thrown by female players, "to prevent unfair advantages for male pitchers." The male pitchers are not in this league.
- Foul ball fines. Batters will be fined for every foul ball hit into the stands, to protect spectators, especially children. The fine applies to all teams, and the Astros are appealing.
Former pitcher and talk-radio commentator Chet Bulgemore called the changes "an insult to a man's game." Manager Josefina Mendrake called them "insulting, but at least we get to the bases faster."
"We're not asking for special treatment," Mendrake said. "We asked for a locker room. We got a 15% shorter infield."
