The Goblin Council of Elders has retracted its apology to Rigatonia for the botched island-sinking scheme, to the shock of the diplomatic world and the delight of fans of goblin pettiness.
"Upon further reflection," a Council spokesperson said with a smug grin, "we have decided that Rigatonia should be grateful for our failed attempt to destroy their island. We could have charged them half the cost of the tunnel. Instead we gave it to them as a gift."
The spokesperson listed the tunnel's benefits, including easy access to Mudwick Isle's casinos, nightclubs and questionable food establishments. "Think of it as a bridge to a brighter future," they said, "a future of fermented mushroom cocktails, glittery lapel pins and endless opportunities for questionable investments."
Rigatonia's leaders called the statement "insulting" and "tone-deaf." Goblins on both sides took to social media, where opinions ranged from "This is classic goblin behavior" to "Can someone explain what a tone-deaf is?"
The UN Security Council, already unhappy about the whirlpool, is reportedly drafting a resolution to condemn the Council and impose further sanctions. The Council has asked to be thanked for that too.
