The Goblin Council of Elders has renounced the lotus plant, a staple of its diet and a notorious source of its erratic behavior. The decision, announced at a hastily convened press conference, ends an era of chaos, impulsiveness and questionable decisions.
"We have seen the error of our ways," said Elder Gnarltooth, in an unusually clear and steady voice. "The lotus plant, while delicious and euphoria-inducing, has clouded our judgment and led us from the path of responsible governance."
The elders, noticeably sober and well-groomed, said a recent "vision," or possibly a bad case of indigestion, had changed their minds. They promised an era of sobriety, rationality and sound decisions, to the dismay of goblin partygoers and fermented mushroom enthusiasts.
"This is a dark day for the Goblin Nation," said Grungle, former CEO of the Goblin Gaming Group and a famous lotus fan. "Without the sweet embrace of the lotus, how are we supposed to unleash our creative genius and embrace the chaos that makes us unique?"
Reaction is mixed. Some applaud the new maturity. Others fear a dull society without spontaneity. "What's next?" asked a barfly. "Are they going to ban fermented mushroom ale and outlaw mud wrestling? This is the beginning of the end."
Whether sobriety makes the nation more prosperous and stable, or leaves goblins in boredom and despair, remains to be seen.
